YARNBEANS

Really, I will post!

Really, I have a post coming!  I've just been so busy with work, I can't come up for air!  I'm knitting, though and will update soonish...

Happy Fourth of July!

Happy Fourth of July, all!  I'm going to be working all doubles for the next few days during the busiest weekend of the summer!  See ya on the flip side!

Lori

Coming out of the Dark...

Well, folks, I'm heading back to ya'll!  I've been suffering from a deep depression and summer coming on has seemed to help lift it off!  I feel a little bit lighter and happier.  I have to work a double shift today, but I hope to have some pictures and a proper blog post by Monday.  In the meantime, if you're plurking, I am, too!  Click and add me to your friends!

Happy Summer!

Where Ding Dongs Made Me Cry...

Yep, you heard right. Ding Dongs put me over the edge this weekend. 

I live on the Oregon Coast for a reason.  I love the beach but I'm not a string bikini kind of gal.  I see all those videos on TV, etc. of people at the beach in So. Cal. and there's no way I'd want to spend a day with a thousand other people under the hot sun.  This is my kind of beach...

Look, there's two people on the beach yards away.  We might never even cross paths.  Nice, cloudy skies...cold water...a cool breeze.  Well, Thursday and Friday we had 90 degree weather here.  Not happy.  I mean in this little beach community we are whining when it hits 75.  It's too hot for us at 90.  In Portland it was nearly 100 degrees and they're not used to it either.  So, consequently, a lot of Portland comes to the beach for some relief.  I don't mind.  After all, I make my money off of tourists, mostly. 

Friday night was extremely busy, we were short a server and it was HOT!  Many of you who read this blog know of the ding dongs we serve for dessert at the restaurant.  Yes, they are delicious chocolate treats.  Yes, they are funny.  Yes, they made me cry.  By the time I served my last ding dong of the night on Friday at 10:30pm, I cried.  It was just the last straw.  I just wanted to go home.  I was so tired of the trivial little stuff involved in serving on such an exhausting and HOT! night that when I went to get the berry sauce to garnish the plate with, I dissolved into a pile of tears.  Linda, the hostess, came running..."Lori, what's wrong?  OH, I'll get them, don't cry!"  She knew.  Summer is almost here and the ding dongs will soon become the bane of my existence.

A Cute Video!

I saw this video on the blog from the Belle of the Ball pocast (which is great, btw)!

Finally!

In my crazy and hectic recent schedule, this weekend was a small reminder of why I live on the Oregon Coast!

Saturday afternoon...

(click for bigger)

I took this picture on my T-Mobile Sidekick (which quite frankly takes crappy pics and I regret purchasing).  We had fantastic weather on Saturday and I took a moment with the girls to check out the beach.  We call it sand therapy.

Just Call Me Liarpants!

There's a story behind this new nickname!

I've been waiting tables for about 13 years and really, I sometimes think I've heard it all, but then I find out I haven't!

Friday night...We're busy and one of the other servers (let's call her J) comes up to me and says, "I have a problem..."

Me: ?
J:  "The lady on 16 asked for the DH Pinot (fictional wine name).  When I brought it to her, she said she asked for the DH Pinot GRIS not the DH Pinot NOIR. I told her we don't carry the DH Pinot GRIS only the Pinot NOIR.  She says she saw a bottle of the GRIS on the shelf when she walked in.  I remind her that we don't carry the GRIS.  She says I don't want to open the bottle of GRIS for her."
Me:  "Is she crazy?  She thinks you're keeping the wine from her?"
J: "Yes. Will you go talk to her?"
Me:  "No problem."

Me:  "Hi, my name is Lori and I'm the wine buyer for the restaurant.  Your server mentioned that you wanted two glasses of the DH Pinot Gris, but unfortunately, we don't carry that wine."
Crazy: "Yes, you do, I saw it on the shelf when I walked in."
Me:  "Ma'am, as the wine buyer I can assure you I don't carry the DH Pinot Gris.  I am bound by one rule on my list and that is I don't carry a white and a red from the same producer except for Eyrie Vineyards."
Crazy:  "I saw it on the shelf when I walked in.  I'll show you."

We walk to the RED wine table/shelves that she's speaking of and look at every bottle and label.

Crazy: "Well, now it's gone. Someone moved it.  It was here when I walked in.  I know it was because I have a bottle of it at home and I recognized the label.  It's white."
Me: "I'm really sorry, Ma'am.  I don't know what to tell you, I don't carry that wine.  This is the RED wine table and the Pinot Gris are always in the walk-in.  I don't carry the DH Pinot GRIS, only the NOIR. I unload the wine orders myself and didn't receive any DH GRIS."
Crazy: "Well, I know it was there.  You don't want to open it for me."
Me: blink, blink
Crazy walks back to her table. There was nothing more to say.  Does this lady really think that I would hide a bottle of wine from her?  Like, she walked in the restaurant and I said to myself, "I don't think I'll let her have what she wants!"? 

(As a f*ck y*u, I took home a bottle of DH Pinot Noir and enjoyed it immensely!)

Heard at another table...

Me: "Good evening, How are you tonight?"
2nd Crazy: in a tone that says that it's all your fault - "Well, I would be FINE if the weather was BETTER!" (Seriously, I almost can't emphasize enough the venom that was in her voice!)

Hmm, if I could control the weather maybe I wouldn't wait tables for a living!

Bunny Thumper!

I've seen around the blogosphere that people are measuring their cat's bunny thumper feet for a contest on KitKatKnit.  Why not jump on the bandwagon?

This is Fatty with his true love, STR!

Doing the Fatty Sit!

Fatty's Bunny Thumper - 5 inches!  Is that big? Small? Average? 

Holiday Eating Tips!

Someone sent this to me in an e-mail and I thought it was funny...

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum
balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can...and quickly. Like fine
single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt
scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink
up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as
if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a
treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you
think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it! Hello?!

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the
buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies; Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat! Have a slice of each. Or
if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always
have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor
Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read
tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, manhattan in the other, body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a
ride!"

Have a great holiday season!

Oh, this is so me!

Your Brain is Purple

Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Brain?